To sum up my life in one word, I’d call it “seasoned.” I have collected my fill of adventure over the years and sought each journey to its highest of highs and lowest of lows. It’s a comforting thought, to know that when seasons change, new beginnings are predictably lingering around each corner. My seasonal work is coming to an end in twelve days, otherwise known as my life for the last four months, considering there is no definitive line drawn between work and play living at an isolated fishing lodge in Alaska. Let’s just say, I couldn’t be more ecstatic. However, the sweetness of the finale always carries with it the heaviest of emotion. Knowing I might never again see the faces to which I've grown so accustomed or listen to the same sounds of the river roaring out my window or to fall asleep to the constant repetition of the rain droplets watering the ever soggy earth. As much as I’m ready for this chapter to come to an end, I’m going to miss it greatly.
All the built up frustrations, tensions, and exhaustions will soon be released into histories; filed away, forgotten and replaced by only what we choose to remember. I like it better that way anyways. It’s comforting to know that whatever hardships endured will be replenished by a sense of joy. And upon parting ways from that particular period of time, you might appreciate every incident that led to the final farewell.
However, moments leading to this cathartic sensation can be, more often than not, a frenzied mess. The final countdown is in procession, and the realization hit me like the torrential downpours of last week’s storm hitting my temporary home of Yes Bay, Alaska. I’ve been waiting for this moment to come for so long, but what I will do with it now that it appears in view, remains uncertain. The drawn out anticipation of reaching the end of this particular season has foolishly distracted me from being proactive towards my future. It’s quite unsettling to understand how much time I was allotted to place things into ordinance but lacking the obvious resources and motivation to interact with the outside world has led me to nothing grandeur. However, I cannot let my lack of preparation for the future defeat me entirely considering life is a series of lessons compiled onto a scale of events pertaining to each other. That being said, the cycle of the seasons (along with my life) will continue to move forward, unphased by my personal style of winging things. Following in the direction of dreams, I will focus my attention on being inventive with every reactionary decision. Every failure brings with it an opportunity to succeed elsewhere.
My need for adventure may override my strange longing of settling down one day. But that’s okay, I will continue to pursue new experiences succumbing to the idea that I may be fated towards a more temporary lifestyle. As for now, that’s okay with me. In the mean time, instead of feeling like I have to have everything figured out all at once, I will continue onward pleasantly, with an open mind, finding comfort in the fact that my life is “yet to be determined…”
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